Blah Blah Blah: Niko's Preschool Talent Show

At the end of my son's preschool year, he had a talent show. "What do you want to do?" we asked him.

He's a smart kid and good at many things, but not singing, dancing or typical talent show stuff. I suggested doing a song from one of the Czech fairy tales his mom loves. Who else is going to sing "Svítí Slunce and Hlavou" at the show?

We thought it was a great idea, but he was undecided. Then one night a week later when I was at work, he told his mom: "I want to do the Blah Blah Blah song."

"Blah Blah Blah" is a song by KRS-One and Just-Ice that I've played in the car for him and his little brother. It's fun and clean. I need those two suburban white kids to know what hip-hop is. I just never expected Niko to pick it for the talent show.

Yet I was stoked that he did. The lyrics are about the excessive amount of much blah-blah in the world. Some of it is more related to the music industry, so I decided to rewrite it to be more preschool relevant.

I gave him some pointers on how to memorize the piece. Performing spoken word has made me better at it than I ever expected. I read it aloud repeatedly and bit-by-bit stop looking at the page until I don't need to. You need to start early, keep the text in your pocket and live with the words until they stick.

I never expected him to step up without text in hand, but with a week to go he had it nailed. That's my boy.

I hoped to find an instrumental version of the song, but never did. The beat is a bit too quick anyway. He did it a cappella instead. We never planned any choreography. I'm not sure what he's doing with his knees.

I've been calling him NIK-Zero.

The audio is crappy. Here are the lyrics to help you understand. Many of the words are mine, but some are bitten directly from KRS-One's first verse.

Hey, hey, hey

Yo, what these cats saying, man?

Man, to me...

All I hear is blah-bitty-blah-blah

People always talking that blah-bitty-blah-blah

The news is blah-blah-blah

Who's the new blah-blah?

She's the new blah-blah

Hanging out with blah-blah

Now blah-blah

Read about the latest blah-blah

Some blah-blah

Just bought another blah-blah

Blah-blah-blah on 500 channels

Nothing to watch but blah-blah and wild animals

Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah is in the video

Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah is on the radio

Blah-blah all day

And blah-blah all night

Nothing but blah-blah

Means something's not right

I keep away from the blah-blah-blah

On the TV, the tablet and computah

So give me a ball, a paint brush, a pen

I'll go down the slide and I'll go down again

Give me a book and a good place to read

Fresh air and sunshine are all that I need

I'd rather sing a song or stare at the stars

Than soften my head with blah-blah-blah-blah...

N-I-K-O doesn't need blah-blah

I'd rather cheer rah-rah-rah

Or sing tra-la-la

Or dance cha-cha-cha

While my sister says gah-gah-gah

And my brother laughs hah-hah-hah

Then spend the whole summer doing blah-blah-blah

Go to school in the fall saying dah-dah-dah

Brains are muscles

They need exercise

Feed brains good things

And they'll become wise

So when school is done at LLCA

Keep using your brain or it'll go away

Or fill your head with pudding and tar

By surrounding yourself with blah-blah-blah-blah...

For the next two months you'll see me promoting our local National Drive Electric Week event with gusto. September 19 in Liberty Lake, Washington. I may be building a page dedicated to electric cars and solar power. Still in love with my Leaf.

Blah-bitty-blah-blog.