Seattle Seahawks and Old Women: Preseason Edition

Contributed by Kathe Frahm

The old women will again come to the rec room. It won't be the same this year. They have lost some friends. When hearing of the loss of one of the old men, one old women said, "Now who's going to buy our fried chicken?" Grief is expressed in many ways.

One really loud old woman and one too talkative old woman moved away. All though no one said “good riddance”, the old women thought it was for the good.

The old women have had 8 months to shake their disappointment at losing the biggest game of the year. Their boys not winning the Super Bowl still remains an unsolvable puzzle: if Russell had only handed the ball off to Marshawn at the 1 yard line...

This new season will be for many of them even more confusing. Some old women are waiting for the final word on who actually will play for the Seattle Seahawks. Some of their favorite boys have been traded. But the old women are ready to watch Marshawn Lynch, Kam Chancellor, Steve Haushka and Richard Sherman. Finding out what the 'Hawks will pay to keep Russell Wilson past next year is of interest.

Management at the home say the whole building is to be remodeled. This was to start this January. It hasn't.

The old women at the home meeting, where this was announced, threatened to bolt the rec room door from the inside if even one construction worker interfered with a 'Hawk game. You can push around old women just so far.

A new couch would be good so the old women who need the front row for the TV wouldn't sink into the existing one up to their shoulders and need help getting out of it.

The preseason games start in Seattle in August with the Broncos and the regular games begin with the Rams in September. Someone has already put the 2015-2016 game schedule up on the cork board. Maybe some of the old women will watch preseason, maybe not. At their age, everything has to count.

A couple of old women want to start a pizza fund. It is a rare treat but all together they may be able to afford it once in a while.

Some old women say they have added new Seahawk things to wear. Large, dangly earrings seem to be the fashion statement so far.

The clothing and food comparisons and competition will begin in earnest with the Ram game.

The old women hope for a Super Bowl winning season for their 'Hawks. One commented that coach (Surfer Boy) Carroll was even more adorable than last season. That brought a few chuckles and inappropriate wishes that only experienced old women would say.

Being together again in the rec room is important and looked forward to. The old women see each other in the halls and elevator once in a while, but laughing, screaming, cheering and jeering together matters. They are looking forward to watching their Seahawks play once more... their boys.

Seattle Seahawks and Old Women: Shooing Harbaugh

Contributed by Kathe Frahm

The old women come to the rec room in good spirits. For this game they just know their boys will hand the San Francisco 49ers and their annoying coach, Jim Harbaugh, their collective butts.

All they've heard all week is how much discord and and lack of direction the 49ers are suffering. Good. The old women have learned if you can't keep your work planned out and your respect for your team mates together, winning at anything is harder to do. In-fighting is something old women do really well. They don't always fight fair but they fight smart. A couple of old women who came to the rec room to chat during the game were told in no uncertain terms to take it down the hall.

The Seattle Seahawks got off to a less than a Super Bowl quality start. The 49ers QB, Colin Kaepernick actually looked like he knew what he was doing for some minutes Their defense tied up Russell Wilson and showed up the lack of a cohesive offense, something the Hawks just couldn't get together at first.

Getting on the board in the first quarter with a Steve Hauschka field goal always makes them proud. For some old women, Steve just isn't on the field long enough.

Then watching Kaepernick unravel when he really started getting hit, tackled and sacked was just plain fun. Old women don't like cocky QBs and watching their Wagner and Bennett and Smith drop him brought screams and cheers .


When Frank Gore ran in for TD early in the second quarter, one old woman got up and left. Said she couldn't stand the Hawks even giving up one TD to the 49ers. She came back a little later and yelled for her boys to get going.

That was the only real possession the 49ers would ever get. Holding Kaepernick to just 46 yards made the old women happy.

Watching Marshawn Lynch sort of jog into the end zone for a TD and getting all excited for Paul Richardson scoring his first ever NFL TD was icing on the cake.

The most fun for the old women was watching their Hawks get really into the trouncing of Harbaugh's 49ers. The rumors about him being removed as head coach are probably true. Favorite moments again are seeing their surfer boy coach, Pete Carroll, challenge the refs for his team.

His constant refusal to accept what he considers bad calls is like the old women. They have had to wade through conflicts all their lives. Most of them know about the courage to get what they want. They know all about challenges. Some are beaten, some are afraid but old women step up to give a little help; a cookie, a kind word. It's what they do.

The Creeper Report: Fantasy Football Week 11

Dissatisfaction, although not complete disappointment, in the Village of the Creepers this week.

My teams went 2-2. One team is in second place. Two are in third. One is a half game out of the playoffs in fifth. Ain't no problem that I can't fix 'cause I can do it in the mix.

My failings were due to 2 positions I historically draft late: tight end and defense. Defenses I stream and roll the dice on. Sometimes I hit. Sometimes I don't. But the tight end thing I need to get better at. More on that later in the list.

More dissatisfaction with the Seattle Seahawks. I've been shooting down people early this week who want to say they beat up on the New York Giants. Don't let the score fool you. They barely won.

They were down 17-14 at the half and tied after 3 quarters. They turned the ball over too much. They were lucky to not fumble away the fourth quarter. Russell Wilson was not throwing it well. Only because Seattle's offense wore out the Giants' defense were they able to run the ball well in the fourth quarter.

Seattle would have lost to a playoff-quality team. They'd better tighten up.

I can't wait for the finish of this year. The pressure will be on and I think the Seahawks play best with their backs against the wall. After Kansas City this week, Seattle finishes the season with 2 against Arizona, 2 against San Francisco, 1 against Philadelphia and another against St. Louis, who is always down to play spoiler.

Taking the division won't be easy, but it's in their hands.

What's in my hands? A list of 10 things relative and not relative to this week in fantasy football.

#1 Putting Butt Fumble Jokes on Hold

Maybe Mark Sanchez will not be the death of the Eagles' dreams.

He was supported by a good defense mauling a bad Panthers' offense, but he didn't screw anything up. In fact, his passes looked tight and he had a better vibe about him. Winning does that. The chance of scenery can too. In a pre-game interview, he was ecstatic about the Chip Kelley organization.

So for us fantasy people, don't bail on Sanchez's weapons. You're sticking with Shady. Jeremy Maclin will produce. Brent Celek is back on the radar. Darren Sproles is healthy and dangerous again, but I think he'll be a streaky play. Your situation may vary. Jordan Matthews just became a hot pickup.

And if your quarterback situation is iffy, you can give Sanchez a shot. They go to Green Bay this week. The Packers put up 42 in the first half against Chicago. The Eagles will have to air it out to keep up.

#2 You and I have Tight End Problems

Your scoring is different, but in my Euro league only 6 tight ends are averaging over 9 points a game. If you drafted Rob Gronkowski, Jimmy Graham or Julius Thomas, you got repaid. Yet, about 50 wide receivers and running backs are scoring over 9 per game.

Right now, I'm stinging partially due to Martellus Bennett's bye in two leagues. My gamble on Luke Willson, in particular, did not pay off. After the top few tight ends, it's quite random. My other two leagues, I'm in trouble at tight end. It's definitely a weakness that superior depth at WR is only partly hiding.

Trade deadline's coming soon. I may have to get wheeling.

#3 Fantasy Football Trades are a Myth

Women like nice guys. Cars with big mufflers are always fast. People singing on the radio can actually sing. Trades happen in fantasy football.

All of those things are mostly false almost all the time.

You don't want a guy. You want another guy. You offer a trade and the other owner agrees with you: he doesn't want your dude either.

You want to trade multiple players for one player, hoping the other owner thinks two fives equal a ten. The problem here: he can't start any more players than you. He doesn't want to weaken his starters and strengthen his bench. He'll have to drop someone after the trade anyway.

So fantasy football trades only happen if you trade with a dummy, right? Not quite.

You must search your whole league for someone with a fortunate surplus and an unfortunate paucity. My best trade, and one of my only ones, was one of these. It also pissed off half the league.

Just because you didn't see it and I did doesn't mean you can be upset.

A few years ago, I was having QB issues. I drafted Peyton Manning the year he sat out with the neck injury. I forget the details of this one, but someone traded me Matt Schaub. Then Schaub got hurt and I was in trouble again.

I scanned every team in the league and found one owner with Cam Newton backing up Aaron Rodgers with the byes behind them. No way he's ever using Cam, so I asked him what he wanted. A running back, he said. Which one? I asked. James Starks, he replied.

Okay. He wants my third or fourth running back. I'd have considered a better one, but that's what he offered and that's what I took. The guy in question was in fourth place and firmly in the playoff hunt, but grumblers still wanted to talk collusion.

In a free league, mind you.

Just because you didn't see it and made the move doesn't mean you can get grumbly.

Someone somewhere in your league just might be rich where you are poor and the other way around. Take a shot. You'll probably get shut down anyway.

#4 Pickups this Week

Like I said, look at Jordan Matthews. The Eagles will be chucking it against the Packers.

CJ Anderson may get stuck in a Denver RB committee, but if Montee Ball and Ronnie Hillman are less than healthy, he could be an ace.

I still don't know what to think about the Giants' passing game. They keep putting up ugly numbers. Rueben Randle seems to be falling out of the back end while Odell Beckham Jr. looks like the truth. Preston Parker is an interesting acquisition if you need the depth.

If you need another tight end to drive you crazy, Kyle Rudolph is coming back in a week or two. Will he become Teddy Bridgewater's good buddy? Watch and see.

Overall a tricky week for pickups. So many questions with so few answers. I'm sitting with guys like Rashad Jennings and Montee Ball on the verge of coming back. I'm trying to be patient and keep the faith.

Unlike the guy who just dropped Giovani Bernard in Andy's league. He's a Creeper now. Maybe the bit of luck that 5-4-1 team needs.

#5 Defenses I Like

My usual question is: who am I picking on? Pittsburgh failed to crash the Jets last week. They're on a bye so I don't have to decide if I'm still picking on them. So are the Jaguars.

The Oakland Raiders travel to San Diego, so the Chargers are a favorite. After Derek Carr passed to one of his linemen, who fumbled the ball away, I can feel good about this.

The Eagles put up big numbers against the Panthers, but won't do it against the Packers. Will Atlanta hit Carolina as hard? You take that guess. Will the Packers find beautiful Sanchez or ugly Sanchez?

Cleveland looked sharp against Cincinnati on Thursday. They get a long week to prepare for... Ryan Mallett. New starting quarterbacks are always a tempting snack, making the Browns my second favorite defense to stream.

#6 Can I Start an Offensive Tackle?

Garry Gilliam played tight end and defensive end in high school, where he caught 20 passes for 4 scores. At Penn State, he started his career at tight end but shifted to tackle in 2013. He was signed as an un-drafted free agent by the Seahawks this year.

The 6'6" 306 pounder has been seen most often lined up as an eligible extra blocker in power formations. With Zach Miller, Anthony McCoy and now Luke Willson injured, Seattle has been using more 6 offensive lineman sets.

They're throwing to Gilliam one of these days and it will be a touchdown. Don't tell anyone. It's a secret Pete Carroll doesn't want me to tell you.

#7 Is Anything For Certain Anymore?

So many things seem upside down in the league right now. But just past the halfway point, they usually are. That's why they play the games.

Arizona with the best record in the league? Cleveland leading the AFC North? Everyone in the AFC North with a winning record? No one in the NFC South with a winning record? Justin Forsett outrushing Jamaal Charles?

Who'd have called these things? This week looks crazier than most. Looking up and down the schedule, I see no locks outside the Broncos/Rams.

What do I feel good about? The Patriots/Colts game will be a high-flying quarterback duel. You should be able to count on big money from Brady, Luck, TY, Gronk, Wayne, LaFell, Bradshaw, Edelman and one of Belichick's running backs. As a desperate TE seeker, I'm liking Dwayne Allen over Coby Fleener.

#8 5 Vegas Series A Apotheosis Revisited

I first got one of these in my face back in Week 4. I gave it a solid review, but like all new smokes right out of the package, it needed to season.

7 weeks later, it has. I had another. The burn was smoother, the draw was easier and the flavor more expansive. I pick up on more of the cocoa notes. The box press feels a little more puffed up, like the time out of the tight wrappings has allowed it to relax.

This just jumped from an OK cigar to a very good one. I'm glad to have a dozen more aging in the box.

I suggest the whole Series A line and badly want to get cracked in the head with a notoriously intense Triple A.

#9 Is That My Alter Ego, or Just My Ego?

Something I wrote for College Factual about the best academic schools for Division 1 football ended up at USA Today. The site preferred a name that does not sound like it belongs to a robot prototype, so the byline reads "David Klenda". Somehow, that feels weird now.

I'm happy to be published and shared under any name. Call me Betty Boop, just pay me. Still, I've been trying to consolidate my brand and seeing my birth name next to my writing is odd once again.

Where's the best football school for academics? You'll have to look. Not all of the schools on the list are perennial powerhouses, but they will get you a degree that matters in case you are part of the huge majority that goes professional in something other than football.

#10 A Haiku for Al Davis' Zombies

Wideouts are covered

So pass to linemen. Brilliant.

They're always open.

Good luck and happy creepings.

Seattle Seahawks and Old Women: They Might Not Be Giants

Contributed by Kathe Frahm

Some old women are crepe hangers. They hang a black crepe wreath on the door when someone dies. They always think the worst is going to happen. If you catch a cold, you are surely going to die of pneumonia. Bad luck and losses are not uncommon in this room of old women and a few old men.

When their boys were looking bad the first half of the game with the hapless New York Giants, they sunk lower into their chairs and walkers and hoped it wouldn't be too bad. Others just shook their heads at the "loser's attitude" and suggested a cookie or some cheese ball might cheer them up a little.

The Giants QB Eli Manning, little brother of the old women's least favorite Peyton, looked pretty good at first. But when the Seahawks' defense started wearing the Giants' offense down, they could see a little panic show on the young Manning's face and in his performance.

The old women were worried at the half when their 'Hawks were down 17-14. Most believed their boys would bounce back in the second half of the game. The "we'll probably lose" side were giving the I-told-you-so-look. They feared that their adorable Russell Wilson was in a real slump. Two interceptions and a fumble brought groans and cries for their boys to shake it off and get going.

At the beginning of the 4th quarter, the whole attitude of the rec room changed. Marshawn Lynch can do that to the old women. He started his famous Mack Truck carries into the face of the Giants' defense, dragging defenders and blockers with him as he just kept falling forward. The old women screamed when his helmet got ripped off.

Old women sometimes are given to uses of very colorful profanities. This was one of those times. Little gray-haired grandmothers in Seahawks t-shirts yelling profound curses at any opposing player who could hurt one of their boys is a remarkable vision.

A big worry was that one of their boys would get hurt. And it is the nature of the game that they do. Brandon Mebane and LukeWillson were both helped off the field with injuries. S Kam Chancellor is still out but may be back next week for the game with the Kansas City Chiefs.

A win is a win for the old women. But a final pounding of the other team is more fun. For many old women in this home's rec room, it isn't how you play the game. It is how bad your Hawks beat the other team. Old women are not always fair and they don't care if anyone thinks they are bad sports.

Seattle Seahawks and Old Women: Running through Raiders

Contributed by Kathe Frahm

The rec room was nearly full for the Oakland Raiders game. Even a few more old men straggled in. After all, how could their Seattle Seahawks lose against the winless Raiders and their baby QB, Derrek Carr?

A few old women felt a little put upon when some of their favorite chairs were taken by what they called fair weather fans. And with twice the women there, the noise of so many conversations going on at once blocked out the announcers. On occasion one of the old women yelled for them to shut up so the play calls could be heard. The old men thought that was funny.

At least some of the old women who haven't been there during the hard times brought food. Even one of the old men brought a bucket of fried chicken to share. Some leftover Halloween candy and cake made it to the snack table. Old women are past competing for the best food prize. They were all about the snacks, though.

It was hard for the old women to watch their boy Russell Wilson looking a bit off. The lack of steely confidence and intent concentration of their boy was scary. True, many of the regular offensive linemen were out with injuries. Russell played with his 4th center. Max Unger and Russell Okung could be back next week against the New York Giants. Many players stepped up to fill the injury holes.

Bruce Irvin, KJ Wright, Robert Turbin and Christine Michael all showed They knew what they were doing.

The old women were most happy to see their favorites Marshawn Lynch, Richard Sherman, and Steve Hauschka do so well in the game. They did not get how John Ryan's punt could be blocked, which brought a lot of screaming and yelling. A great sigh of relief was heard when Jermaine Kearse fell on the onside kick to guarantee the win.

QB Derrek Carr of the Raiders showed he could be great one day. The old women thought he was too skinny and wondered what made him appear as though he had breasts. The old women who knew assured the other that that was the bindings used to keep his shoulder pads in place with the protective gear he has to wear.

They sounded relieved.

The old women know it wasn't a nice win. Old women take victories where they find them, nice or not. That is what they learn just by living long enough.

The Creeper Report: Fantasy Football Week 8

The Creepers came within 6 feet of 4-0. Had Heath Miller only gained 2 more yards, I wouldn't have lost by 1/10 of a point to my old college buddy. What's up, Rod Dog? I'm sure I did something to deserve it back in '95.

Come on, stat corrections. Nothing better than winning a fantasy football game in the middle of the week.

At least the loss was in my only free league. In my 3 pay leagues, I'm holding tough at 6-1, 5-2 and 4-2-1. Creep on creepin' on. Roll with the punches.

This puts some frosting on the sour pill that was the Seattle Seahawks' game. I could taste it. Seattle was rolling. They got the defensive stop they needed and were about to get the ball back. Russell Wilson had the offense cooking and a game winning field goal was almost on my tongue.

Then that Skittle turned out to be an aspirin.

So let's get to it. 10 things about this week in fantasy football, non-fantasy football and things that are not important, like real life:

1. Jeff Fisher's Testicles are Actually Giant Brains

What the hell is a fake punt return? I'm familiar with fake punts, fake spikes, fake orgasms (I've heard of them), fake lady parts and fake-and-bake. Yet I woke up Sunday morning unaware of fake punt returns.

Now I know. So do the Seahawks.

My wife wondered why the punt return team wasn't watching the ball instead of the St. Louis Rams. If you're looking up while running down on kick coverage, someone is going to end you. So you run to the punt returner and avoid the assembling blockers. Then the ball goes to the other side of the field, where one lonely gunner takes the ball the distance. You, the cameraman and gaggle of 12s are trying to figure out what happened.

Really brilliant, Mr. Fisher. You did your homework, guided your squad and executed a crazy one.

Then later on you had the huevos to attempt a fake punt from your own 18. The balls or the brains? Some of each, but in truth, you hardly had a choice. With just under 3 minutes to go, the Rams were doomed if they punted it.

Russell was on fire. All he had to do was move the ball within Steven Hauschka's ample range and the game was over. If the Rams punt the ball they probably lose.

But execute a fake punt and you win. No doubt. Unless something crazy happens like Tre Mason fumbles the ball away.

I'll admit I can't remember a Seahawks' loss that stung so bad. Nice work. Special Teams Coordinator John Fassel deserves a lot of credit, too.

See you Week 17 in Seattle, you magnificent bastards.

2. What About the 3-3 Seahawks?

Like Aaron Rodgers said: Relax. We're behind the shockingly 5-1 Arizona Cardinals and the 4-3 San Francisco 49ers. We play both of them twice and have four games to get our feces consolidated before that happens. We have good players and we've jettisoned Percy Harvin.

So a star newcomer has beef with Russell Wilson, Golden Tate and Doug Baldwin? Two times (and one preseason game) when the team is putting together a comeback he decides he doesn't want to play? Get out. Get your things and go or we'll burn them for you. A draft pick in return? We'll give you him and a draft pick. You wan't to take his salary?

Suckers.

So I was right about Russell Wilson being a fantasy star this year. By ESPN scoring, he's the #5 quarterback. I'm happy I reached for him and own him in 3 leagues.

I was wrong about Percy Harvin being one. I figured the move to a Super Bowl contender with a great quarterback would cure his attitude problems. I still don't think he's more injury prone than the next guy. I think he doesn't want to play, which is the difference between being on the field and being in the trainer's room sometimes.

Get Doug Baldwin on your squad. He always has something to prove. Now he's proving that the Seahawks don't need Percy. His 7 catches for 123 and a score were not a fluke. He wants it and he gets what he wants.

Very cool seeing Christine Michael get some touches. Don't do anything yet, but keep your eye on him.

The next 3 games (@ Panthers, home versus Raiders and Giants) should give Seattle a chance to get things right.

The true problem, and the reason I don't draft defenses, is Seattle's defense. They need to shake things up. Remember last year when the amazing thing was that they played base defense and got things done with man-to-man coverage? Not the case this year. They need to start blitzing, mixing up coverage and surprising teams.

3. Percy and the Jets

I hope you read the 3 pieces I did regarding the Harvin trade. Look at me: I was being topical and timely. As a fantasy owner, don't give up on him yet. He's about to have the biggest game of the season.

It's honeymoon time in New Jersey. The Jets need to prove they made a good decision. They'll pump Percy the ball like he was back in Minnesota. At least this week. Then he'll realize he hates Geno Smith and that 1-6 means 1-6. He'll try to get out before long. Week 8 is the best game of the rest of his career.

Week 8, 2014, will be the best game of the rest of Percy Harvin's career. Cut and paste that.

Ride it while you can and then make your own plans for Week 9. Thankfully, he's only on one of my squads. But he's starting.

Chris Ivory should get a momentary boost from this. He came up big for me this week, although I had little faith in the Jets and started him with reservations. Expect some of that jet sweep/read option stuff that worked for Marshawn Lynch early in the year.

As for Jeremy Kerley, Eric Decker and the rest of them? They get musty in Harvin's shadow for a week. As for the rest? Let's talk about it next week.

4. Some Good Running Back Pickups this Week

The waiver wire has potential. I hated to see it, but Tre Mason looked good and it's easy to drop Zac Stacy now. Benny Cunningham is worth a look, particularly in that kick return yardage league I'm in.

Denard Robinson took over the running back role in Jacksonville. Although I feel nothing good about the Jaguars, except playing defense against them, Robinson is intriguing because he's listed as a WR/RB. He's an instant flex and a big play threat. He'll be a handy bench asset.

Jerick McKinnon seized the starting job from Matt Asiata. Again, I don't feel good about many things Viking, but starting running backs are worth grabbing when they come available.

Anthony Dixon is almost the only back left for Buffalo now that Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller are both hurt. We're continuing the theme of starting runners for questionable offenses here.

5. Speaking of Defenses against Jacksonville...

I like Miami against the Jaguars. Blake Bortles is still throwing interceptions. Yeah, they slapped up the Browns last week, but prove me wrong this week.

Yeah, the Cleveland Browns got slapped up this week, but they get the Raiders this week. My FF Defense Rule #1 is: play against the Raiders. Does Cleveland give another team their first win? At least get some sacks and turnovers on your way there.

If you got to, take Houston against Tennessee. Sure, they have JJ Watt, but they don't seem to be able to play a whole game of good defense.

6. Congratulations, Elliott Nix

Thursday, Elliott Nix became the first person ever to ask me online for fantasy advice. He wanted to know if he should start Brandon Bolden or James Jones. Too bad he asked me minutes before the Patriots' game and I was unable to respond in time. Maybe not too bad, because as a Raider Hater I would have told him to go with Bolden, who ended up with 1 catch for 4 yards.

Well, James Jones caught 4 passes for 35 yards. Hope that didn't sway it for you. Did I mention I lost by 1/10 of a point this week?

But thanks for asking and keep reading. Give me a little more lead time and I'll give you some advice worth ignoring.

7. I Have Given Up on Being an Author

No I haven't. I wrote 4 ebooks in the last few years. Somehow I never mention them. The covers and links are on this blog somewhere. Life is conspiring against me. Kids, work and my new freelance writing thing have eaten all my creative writing time. The only creative things I've written in the past year have been slam pieces.

I should YouTube those. I'll whisper them into the webcam when the shorties are sleeping.

Find me on Smashwords. I'm on Amazon, too, but I'm such an underdog fan I'm drawn to Smashwords. Cathartes Aura and the Apocalypse Zoo truly reads better on paper. It's a collection of 10 line stanzas and ereaders just don't show it right.

I thank you in advance.

8. Paul Richardson

The Percy Harvin trade, among other things, is a compliment to Paul Richardson. The speedy rookie is more than just a burner. He runs tight routes, catches tough passes, shows good footwork near the sidelines and was impressive in the preseason. He's been mostly invisible until Harvin was gone. He's done everything but go deep in a game.

Richardson is the new Harvin, only young and humble. In my deeper leagues, I've added him. Maybe it's a hometown move, but I think he could become a factor later in the year.

9. ¡Jesus Fuego! That's a good cigar.

In my last sampler, a very pleasant surprise was the Jesus Fuego Corojo Oscuro Toro.

At 6" x 50, it's a meaty smoke without being chubby. The light and burn were perfectly smooth. The flavor was not my typical style. It's woodsy and leathery with a certain rich tea leaf flavor. Normally, I'm a squid ink maduro guy. But I like this one a lot. It was a good break from my normal, though not too far away, and exactly why you need to try random stuff sometimes. I was unfamiliar with the brand, but now I'll perk up when I hear the name.

And ¡Jesus Fuego! just became my new favorite way to use the Lord's name in vain. I pledge to work it into conversation as often as I can.

"¡Jesus Fuego! Heath Miller couldn't get me pinche dos fantasy points?"

10. Harvin gets a Haiku

I need a new team.

One that loses and likes it

When I cry and punch.

Good luck and happy creepings.

What do I write about the Seahawks and the Super Bowl?

Wow, Seahawks.  Just wow.  Two days later and I'm still trying to figure it out.

This is not a smart piece of analysis like I've been attempting all year for The Penalty Flag.  This is just a giddy fan reaction.

The Seattle Seahawks played their best game of the year in the Super Bowl.  Their biggest margin of victory.  Their most complete performance.

I had no idea who to pick for MVP.  Russell Wilson, I supposed, just because his leadership and execution on third down made it happen on offense.  But it was a team defense thing.  Cliff Avril, I was thinking.  Kam Chancellor?  The turnovers, which were the death of Denver, were all caused by the pass rush.  Malcolm Smith was just an opportunist.  But he had a pick, a TD and a fumble recovery.  I can't argue with that.  Consider that he's not even a starter.  Who knew his name before the interception at the end of the 49ers game?

Would you pay Percy Harvin for the kickoff return alone?  About $14 million is what he earned this year for a limited appearance in one regular season game, half a playoff game and last Sunday.  But what a Sunday.

On the second play for the Seahawks' offense, Percy took the ball on a sweep for 30 yards.  He was one chalky toe from taking it all the way.  Denver was slapped awake.  They'd watch him everywhere he went.

The effect was most obvious later in the half when Russell faked the sweep to Percy and gave it to Marshawn Lynch up the middle.  Denver's linebackers were caught leaning, opening up a hole for a 10 yard gain.  That's the Percy factor, whether he touches the ball or not.

Even down 22-0 after one half, you knew Peyton Manning could lead his team back.  But when Percy took the opening kickoff of the second half to the house, he planted the dagger.  The Broncos were shook up.  Mentally down and out.

$14 million for that play?  Yes, if it was Paul Allen's money.

The Twelfth Man has range.  Denver's center Manny Ramirez took full responsibility for the errant snap that resulted in a safety on the Broncos' first play.  He said he couldn't hear the snap count.  This was a neutral site game.  Played in New Jersey.  Don't let them call it New York.

Almost 3000 miles away, Seattle fans got it done.  I have a friend who was there.  He told me blue and green was everywhere on the streets.  Orange, not so much.  All Seahawk fans greeted each other like old buddies.  Bronco fans passed each other on the street silently.  Did Richard Sherman's rant create a bunch of new Denver fans?  You couldn't find a Seahawks #25 jersey in New York City, my buddy told me.

8% of the ticket sales went to Colorado.  17% to Washington.

Seattle fans know how and when to disturb an offense.  It showed.

Yet, I'm sure there's much more to this.  I've heard it pointed out that the entire offensive line moved together, indicating it may have been Manning's mistake.  We have all off-season to discuss it.

One more point before signing off.  If you still want to judge Richard Sherman for one moment at the end of the 49ers game, listen more.  Before this game, he noted how special Denver's offensive unit was.  All media week long, he was looking interviewers in the eye with real attention and delivering smart, crisp answers.  At the end of the Super Bowl, he highlighted the huge performances of Malcolm Smith, Earl Thomas, Kam Chancellor and the whole team.

Right after Sherman's comments on the podium with the Lombardi trophy, one of the Fox announcers (I forget who it was) said: "That's the real Richard Sherman."

Sometime I'll get into the three very different leaders on the team:

Richard Sherman: loud, in your grill, precise and cutting with his words.

Russell Wilson: friendly, respectful, coach's dream, tremendous discipline and work ethic.

Marshawn Lynch: would rather do it than talk about it, avoids the media.  "I'm just about that action, boss."

This has little to do with the story: