The Creeper Report: Fantasy Football Week 10

A tough week in Creeperville. 0-3 for my Russell Wilson led teams. My Peyton Manning and Demaryius Thomas based team won, holding my lead atop Bethanie's league.

The moral: it's better to have your quarterback gunslinging from behind than coasting ahead of a team he's sure he'll beat.

But creep on creepin' on. I still have the #4 spot in my free Euro league. In Nate's league, I'm holding tight to my #3 position. I'm still in #4 in Andy's league by a mere half game. No time to freak out. Still in the playoffs across the board. Keep streaming the best defense and snagging free agent W/R/Ts. Keep faith in my quarterback.

In woulda-coulda-shoulda news, I would have won in the Euro league had I hung onto Miami's D. But who thought they'd shut out the Chargers? Let me go back and edit last week's Report to show that I knew it all along.

I got blown out in my other 2 leagues. Nothing I could have done would have helped. In Nate's, every player on my bench had a bye.

With no regrets, let's get into 10 things about fantasy football and things we can smoke while watching.

#1 Does Your Team Need More Boobie?

When Anthony Dixon came from the San Francisco 49ers to the Buffalo Bills, his team-mates started calling him "Boobie" after Boobie Miles from Friday Night Lights. The name grew in popularity with fans until it was officially switched from Anthony on the team roster.

Whatever you call Mr. Dixon, you can now call him the starting running back for the surprising 5-3 Bills. Coming off a bye, they face a Kansas City Chiefs team that leads the league against the pass but is 19th against the run with 116.1 yards allowed per game. They give up 4.7 yards per carry.

With CJ Spiller on injured reserve and Fred Jackson questionable to play, that gives Boobie and Bryce Brown the rock. Dixon's only gained 639 yards in 4.5 seasons so far, but a starting back is a starting back.

#2 Denard "Auto-Flex" Robinson

Coming out of Michigan as a quarterback, the NFL didn't know what to do with Robinson. The Jacksonville Jaguars played around with him as a kick returner, wide receiver and running back. Last year he threw one pass, caught none and carried the ball 20 times for 66 yards.

Suddenly over the last 3 games he has 57 carries for 329 yards and 2 scores. Better yet, he's still listed as a hybrid WR/RB. Auto-Flex. Last week I used him as a WR. This week I'll start him at RB. Useful.

He's a big play waiting to happen and one of the only good offensive things happening for the Jags.

#3 Giant's Offense

Should be written as "0ffense" except I'm not sure you can tell I used a zero instead of an O.

Out west, I don't get much chance to see the Giants play. Monday Night, it was obvious their passing game is a wreck. But go go gadget garbage time. Eli Manning still ended up with 359 and 2 scores with amazingly no interceptions. Odell Beckham Jr. (ODB's son to me) grabbed 8 for 156. All of that was much too late in a blowout that ended 40-24 somehow.

Eli's passes and receivers were never in the same place. Rueben Randle still hasn't figured him out. The defense that was lit up by the Steelers was confusing to the Giants.

Coming to Seattle next week, I don't feel good about anything NYG. I may still have to start Old Dirty's kid, but I hope not to. Boom or bust indeed.

#4 Speaking of Seattle's Defense

Always watch the transactions of your league-mates. You might see that someone dropped Seattle for Darren Sproles so they could start Philadelphia against Houston. Snag.

The Seahawks are showing why you shouldn't go nuts and draft a defense early. But as a free agent grab to play the Raiders at home? Thanks. Best matchup of the year for them. Sure, they gave up too many points to Al Davis' zombies, but they were handed 3 turnovers and a touchdown.

And I'll take them at home against the Giants, too.

Other defenses this week? I like Dallas against Jacksonville and Pittsburgh against the Jets. Do you think Mark Sanchez isn't Mark Sanchez? If you think he still is, take Carolina against Philadelphia.

#5 Return of the Butt Fumble

I was working at a huge sports bar at the time of the infamous Sanchez moment. I'd heard a lot of noises during football games at that place, but I'd never heard the whole joint fall out laughing until then.

But that was then. Sanchez did just win the game against Houston after Nick Foles busted a collar bone. He threw for 202 yards and 2 touchdowns plus 2 interceptions. He's bound to turn it over a couple more times at least versus Carolina.

You probably have to start Jeremy Maclin in case he catches another bomb or two. Don't feel good about it. LeSean McCoy is still Shady, but I don't like much else Eagle-flavored this week.

#6 All Brain and No Heart

I keep reminding myself to play fantasy football with my head only and keep the heart separate. I'm wondering now if I always do that.

Having Russell Wilson in three leagues is a smart move regardless of the fact I love that team. Being pessimistic about Percy Harvin as a Jet rather than a Seahawk I think is logical.

Saying his first game in New York would be the best game of the rest of his career? I was trying to get a reaction. Sometimes you need to be bold to be heard, like in the 90s when I used to say the internet was a myth and computers didn't work.

Look at me now.

Maybe my Harvin call is correct if I really meant this week. I figured the Jets would feed him the ball to prove they made a good trade. With 11 catches for 129 in a blowout loss, they did it this week. I benched him for Rueben Randle and I was wrong. Didn't cost me the game, but maybe I was getting emotional.

Putting hindsight behind me where it belongs, let's look at this week. At home against a red-hot Pittsburgh offense, the Jets might do it again. Harvin may barely average 10 yards a catch and be held scoreless one more time, but he'll be a good play especially in PPR.

He gets the start over Rueben this week.

#7 Ben Roethlisberger's 12 Pack

Will this keep up? How often can a guy throw 6 touchdowns? The Jets are second-to-last in the league surrendering 28 points a game. It just might keep up.

Antonio Brown is one reason I'm leading Bethanie's league. Martavis Brown and Markus Wheaton are both worth starting if you need them. This could be another mauling. Big Ben could leave New Jersey with Rex Ryan's job.

#8 I Will Miss You, Serie N

I believe the La Gloria Cubana Serie N was the first cigar I ever reviewed on the Creeper Report for The Penalty Flag. They've taken the page down, so I'll never know.

I just smoked the last one in my humidor. A little melancholy.

Yet I'm reminded why the 5.5" 54 gauge JSB is my favorite cigar of all time. Once again, a bit of pepper smoothing into an earthy leatheriness like a favorite bomber jacket. No bitterness. Meaty. This is the reason I fell for oscuros.

And this is why you need a good humidor and must let your favorites rest. It took me well over a year to go through 10 of these. I only grabbed them for special occasions. But tonight? Maybe just because.

After more than a year, it was softer, more complex and more intense than ever. Grabbed me by the boo-boo, it did.

One more lesson: keep an eye on your favorite smokes on multiple sites. Everything goes on sale from time to time. I got 10 of these way back when for $39.99 plus a $10 gift card.

The Serie R Black and the Wavell Maduros are also great. LGC makes fine big rich cigars at good prices.

Watch for a Serie N sale for me, will you?

#9 Continuing the Freelance Dance

Heading into my third month as a part-time freelancer, I'm hunting for bigger fish. Snagging $20 or $30 bits and pieces is fine, but I need a real jobby-job.

Sure, I can write about just about anything, but I should stick to what I know. And that's not even football.

I've racked up some experience as an NFL writer, but I've been in the restaurant business much longer. I know more about the game than most managers you'll meet (except for mine, who happen to be geniuses) so if I'm going to be an expert at anything, it's that.

How to organize your staff, what to cook, what to pour, what not to do, how to prepare yourself and how not to get fired. Learned it all, hard way and otherwise.

I need to find someone who values that and will pay me to teach it. I don't want to run all over a restaurant until my plantar fasciae are filled with micro-tears again.

Furthermore, when my son starts going to school 5 days a week, I don't want to head to work as soon as he gets home.

I want to move away from writing jobs that take only an hour or two. I want something more permanent.

#10 Brady Versus Manning Forever

 Take my record. Chase

Brett Favre. My team doesn't care.

We just lit yours up.

Good luck and happy creepings.

The Creeper Report: Fantasy Football Week Three

I suppose I'm a free agent again. After a year and half with The Penalty Flag, I decided the income was not worth the effort and I quit. I did learn a lot and established myself as a performer. I went from grunt-writer to editor and leader of two divisions. 

But things that keep me from my family must pay me money. That's Rule Number One.

After a few months off, I joined RantSports. Instantly, I could tell they were a more professional operation. They know how they want things done, have greater organization and deliver a tighter product.

Their required quota was tough, though. In August, it went from four pieces a week to seven. It's hard pumping out that much quality, unless the money is right.

I toiled for about two months for ad revenue alone, unaware how much that would be. Then I found out. I stopped working almost immediately.

Rule Number One.

Outside of football, business is good. I'm writing for Bright Hub, College Factual and Writer Access. I'm building relationships with other sources.

I just started working four days a week rather than five and am replacing the income with writing. That's a win in my book.

Still, I'd love to be writing about football for someone other than myself. I won't do it for cheap. I'm not looking for an internship. I won't do it if it takes the fun out of the game.

But I will do it for you. Without further screwing around, here's this week's Creeper Report:

#1 Still Undefeated

I actually had a tie in Andy's league. If New York got the Percy Harvin call right, I'd have lost. Crazy how much man-power and technology missed that walk-on-the-chalk. I think I know where the Ray Rice elevator tape ended up.

The combination of LeSean McCoy and Darren Sproles came up big for me in Nate's league, helping me sting Nate himself. I can't remember starting two running backs on the same team. I certainly don't recall it working.

Russell Wilson didn't win it for me in three of my four leagues, but he didn't lose it either. If 202 yards and a pair of scores with no turnovers is a bad game, I'll take the floor everyday. But I can't wait for some ceiling time.

#2 How Do You Beat Your Kids?

As of this writing, it seems like the Minnesota Vikings are starting to do the right thing. They waited until the whole world and their sponsors turned their backs. The sun released a statement that it wouldn't shine on Minnesota if Adrian Peterson was in uniform.

In general, I agree that the league and teams should not act until the court system has done its job. Innocent people, especially wealthy and popular ones, get accused of things that aren't true or aren't as big as they once appeared.

But Mr. Peterson, did you hit your kid with a stick?

Yes.

Did you leave welts and cuts all over his legs, back and buttocks?

Yes.

And scrotum?

Yes.

Were there defensive wounds on his hands?

Yes.

And this child was fourteen years old?

No. He was four.

I'm sorry. My mistake. Four years old. You're fired, Mr. Peterson.

We don't need to wait for the courts to decide anything about motive or intention. Peterson has admitted to doing it. It's his parenting style. He learned it from his father.

Cycle of abuse.

His employer needs to decide whether to stand with him or against him.

Simple.

You might lose some football games without him. You might lose your fans with him. You might be surprised how the other players on the team step up.

#3 Everybody Hurts Sometime

Some players missed time for reasons not related to domestic violence. They were injured by football players. How should the fantasy football world react?

Robert Griffin III will be out for much of the season, at least. That opens the door for Kirk Cousins, who did a solid job in relief. This week he plays at Philadelphia. If the pattern holds, the Eagles will play bad in the first half and good in the second. Cousins could put up a couple hundred and a couple scores.

Speaking of Philly and DC, DeSean Jackson could make his return if his shoulder is okay. It seems he sprained his AC joint. I think will and desire should put him in pads. Hell hath no fury like a DeSean scorned. I have to decide whether to play him, Steven Jackson, Steve Smith, Knile Davis, Stevan Ridley or Antonio Gates at W/R/T. Let me think about that.

AJ Green could suit up against Tennessee this week, although the wise decision could be to wait until after the Week 4 bye. Mohamed Sanu gains value. Giovani Bernard turned into the most valuable receiver against Atlanta. The Bengals chose to run in Green's absence and Jeremy Hill put up solid numbers. He's worth an add, too.

With Jamaal Charles out at least a few weeks, you already missed the Knile Davis grab. Sorry I didn't get this out Monday night. I was writing about the top marketing colleges in the country.

Too bad I didn't go to one. I might have sold an ebook this year.

Carson Palmer is somewhere between day-to-day and week-to-week, making Larry Fitzgerald into a flex and Michael Floyd into a head-scratcher.

#4 At Least San Francisco's Loss was Uglier

The Seattle Seahawks got beat. The San Diego Chargers had a great game plan and executed. They held the ball for 42 minutes, much like they did when they beat Denver last December, keeping Seattle from getting into any offensive rhythm.

Nice to see Russell Wilson getting the Peyton Manning treatment. Keep him bored and on the sideline.

Seattle's only turnover was Percy Harvin's fumbled kickoff return. They didn't lose as much as they got beat. Hats off the Philip Rivers and his crew.

The 49ers, however, blew it. Colin Kaepernick turned the ball over four times. The defense gave up 21 fourth quarter points. Kaep got a fifteen yard flag for the brand-new abusive language penalty. "He knows what he said," stated the officials, although Kaep denies speaking. He also had a delay of game in the final two minutes.

I'm not sick about the Seattle loss. That will motivate the team against Denver. 49er fans should be sick and frightened of the 2-0 Cardinals that won without Carson Palmer.

#5 Defenses I Like

Houston is for real again. JJ Watt and ten of me might do well against the Giants. If they're still out there, get them.

Cleveland is not as lousy as I thought and the Jets are not as good as you think. Geno Smith could prove me wrong, but he was consistently inconsistent last year. He's due for a flop.

Screw whatever power rankings put the 49ers in the top 10. Take the Cardinals against them this week. Kaep will fold.

The biggest hunch: if you're feeling crazy, believe the Vikings will huddle against the storm and rally together, putting up a gutsy show against the Saints. They'll lose, but not without getting some turnovers and sacks. Maybe they'll block a kick or score a non-offensive touchdown. Watch for it.

#6 The Restaurant Business is on its Head

Anyone who knows the restaurant business understands it's one of the rare industries where a promotion is a demotion.

In the world of gratuity, the hourly supervisor or salaried manager makes less money than the servers and bartenders they oversee. This is most true in Washington, with the country's highest minimum wage.

For the half year I had to be a supervisor, I estimated I could make more money getting ice and emptying trash for the bartenders.

Therefore I've avoided elevation from the front lines for most of my 20+ years. This year, I realized another truth:

Full-time status is inferior to part-time.

Benefits? Medical insurance through work is costly. Dental insurance is cheap anyway. My main benefit is Paid Time Off. For tip-earners, that equates to minimum wage hours. I accrue less than $100 worth per month.

The trouble is, full-time status means they can schedule me whenever they want. Typically, they put me on the best night shifts. But they may throw me in the occasional Sunday brunch or mid-week lunch. Not wanting to put me into overtime, this costs me a prime-time night shift.

In other words, less money for me. Working Tuesday lunch instead of Tuesday dinner equals all the PTO I'd earn all month.

If I'm part-time, I can tell them when I can't work. As of September 1, I'm working only the four nights I choose so I have time to free-lance.

I make more money working part-time. Your job is not this weird.

#7 Other Pickups

This is a fantasy football column.

Ahmad Bradshaw will succeed with or without Trent Richardson touching the ball.

Bobby Rainey's getting the ball in Doug Martin's absence. Atlanta's a good matchup. See if Martin is an O, D or Q.

Niles Paul has a good thing going with Kirk Cousins already.

Owen Daniels is coming back to life after coming to Baltimore with Gary Kubiak.

#8 At Least He Didn't Use a Stick

Suddenly, there's little Ray Rice talk.

Way to make Ray look good, Adrian.

It was despicable. No man should ever deal with a woman with a fist. That doesn't mean my irreverent ass can't take a few swings.

He didn't use a stick or stuff leaves in anyone's mouth. He did it in front of cameras so at least there's little question about what happened. At least she was an adult. She was old enough to attend kindergarten, even. Their argument was presumably not over a video game. He didn't outweigh her by 180 pounds.

Peterson leapfrogged Rice's villainy.

#9 Butterflies

In lighter news (aka not involving women or children getting beaten) Monarch butterflies have begun their annual 3000 mile migration south to the tropical jungles of Mexico.

Lets close our eyes and float away on diaphanous wings, riding perfumed thermals to sun-drenched paradise. Lets spend the winter licking the nectar from flowers and mating.

Scientists estimate 90% of the Monarch population has disappeared over the last 20 years because of dwindling food supply and environmental pollution.

Pop goes the bubble.

#10 The Ocsuro Corner is Still Dark

Forgive me for not posting about cigar deals very often.  Forgive me even more for not tweeting about a deal that found me last week.

Cigars International put a bunch of good things on sale for $2 each. I grabbed some 5 Vegas Series A and rediscovered another deal. Look for the coupon code and you'll get a 10 cigar sampler for $8 with any CI purchase. I grabbed the sampler over a year ago. I liked some. I didn't like others. This time, they're all different and look even better.

So in time for my 40th birthday, I'm getting 23 cigars for under $45. I'll take it.

Speaking of the birthday, I decided with my freelance income I finally earned my 86 Logo tattoo.

Yeah, you might see a picture of that soon.

Good luck and happy creepings.

Seahawks' 12th Man Scores First in the Super Bowl

I've been wondering since it happened: what went wrong with that first play for Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos that resulted in a safety?

Astronomical to think such a polished and professional offensive unit would screw up a shotgun snap.  The center Manny Ramirez took initial responsibility.  Tough for me to decipher all the Manning pre-snap chatter and know how he changed the original call.  Who's fault was it?

Now that NFL Films has released the Sound FX for the game, we can listen to Peyton Manning himself as he talks to his center and his coach after the play.  Watch and listen.  I'll wait.  Then let's see what you think.

"I called the snap count," Manning said to Ramirez as they trotted off the field.  "You didn't hear me?"

When he reached coach John Fox, he told him: "I couldn't hear anything."

Fox replied, "Hey, a little louder than we though."

He later said to his team he should have started with the silent count.  A silent count in the Super Bowl?

Crowd noise absolutely caused that fumbled snap and safety.

Process that for a moment.

The Super Bowl is a neutral site by design.  New Jersey is almost 3000 miles from Seattle.  The Seahawks' 12th Man still affected the game.

Not only affected the game, but single-handedly put points on the board.

Seattle's fans at CenturyLink Field are credited with causing false starts, making opponents burn time-outs and limiting audible calling.  But this time, the 11 Seahawks on the field could have had their backs to the Broncos.  The snap would still have sailed past Manning and into the end-zone.

At the moment I can't think of another time when crowd noise so directly led to a score.  In the Super Bowl no less.  That's truly playing 12-on-11 football.

8% of the tickets were sold to Colorado residents.  17% were sold to Washington residents.  That does not directly mean that three-quarters of the fans present were neutral.  It does mean that Seahawks pride is contagious.

A good friend was in town for the game.  He told me Blue & Green outnumbered Orange on the streets.  Seahawks fans were loudly befriending anyone in similar colors.  Broncos fans looked bored and would walk silently past each other on the sidewalks.  New Yorkers embraced the brash, aggressive, gregarious Seahawks.  Did the Richard Sherman rant make more Broncos fans?  Not in New York.  Sherman #25s were impossible to find.

So the Seattle fans at the Super Bowl created more Seattle fans.  People realized it was fun to get behind a team and holler at the opposing offense until it screwed up.  This was a loud crowd for a Super Bowl.  Loud for the Seahawks.

The 12th Man travels.  The 12th Man breeds.  The attitude is contagious.

Anyone else's fans ever score in a Super Bowl?  Did they ever put a team on tilt on the first play of the game and keep them there?

The more I think about it, the more monumental the accomplishment is for Seahawks fans.  The 12th Man actually scored in the Super Bowl.  I salute you.

There's a reason #12 is retired in Seattle.  The 12th Man continually earns the honor.

What do I write about the Seahawks and the Super Bowl?

Wow, Seahawks.  Just wow.  Two days later and I'm still trying to figure it out.

This is not a smart piece of analysis like I've been attempting all year for The Penalty Flag.  This is just a giddy fan reaction.

The Seattle Seahawks played their best game of the year in the Super Bowl.  Their biggest margin of victory.  Their most complete performance.

I had no idea who to pick for MVP.  Russell Wilson, I supposed, just because his leadership and execution on third down made it happen on offense.  But it was a team defense thing.  Cliff Avril, I was thinking.  Kam Chancellor?  The turnovers, which were the death of Denver, were all caused by the pass rush.  Malcolm Smith was just an opportunist.  But he had a pick, a TD and a fumble recovery.  I can't argue with that.  Consider that he's not even a starter.  Who knew his name before the interception at the end of the 49ers game?

Would you pay Percy Harvin for the kickoff return alone?  About $14 million is what he earned this year for a limited appearance in one regular season game, half a playoff game and last Sunday.  But what a Sunday.

On the second play for the Seahawks' offense, Percy took the ball on a sweep for 30 yards.  He was one chalky toe from taking it all the way.  Denver was slapped awake.  They'd watch him everywhere he went.

The effect was most obvious later in the half when Russell faked the sweep to Percy and gave it to Marshawn Lynch up the middle.  Denver's linebackers were caught leaning, opening up a hole for a 10 yard gain.  That's the Percy factor, whether he touches the ball or not.

Even down 22-0 after one half, you knew Peyton Manning could lead his team back.  But when Percy took the opening kickoff of the second half to the house, he planted the dagger.  The Broncos were shook up.  Mentally down and out.

$14 million for that play?  Yes, if it was Paul Allen's money.

The Twelfth Man has range.  Denver's center Manny Ramirez took full responsibility for the errant snap that resulted in a safety on the Broncos' first play.  He said he couldn't hear the snap count.  This was a neutral site game.  Played in New Jersey.  Don't let them call it New York.

Almost 3000 miles away, Seattle fans got it done.  I have a friend who was there.  He told me blue and green was everywhere on the streets.  Orange, not so much.  All Seahawk fans greeted each other like old buddies.  Bronco fans passed each other on the street silently.  Did Richard Sherman's rant create a bunch of new Denver fans?  You couldn't find a Seahawks #25 jersey in New York City, my buddy told me.

8% of the ticket sales went to Colorado.  17% to Washington.

Seattle fans know how and when to disturb an offense.  It showed.

Yet, I'm sure there's much more to this.  I've heard it pointed out that the entire offensive line moved together, indicating it may have been Manning's mistake.  We have all off-season to discuss it.

One more point before signing off.  If you still want to judge Richard Sherman for one moment at the end of the 49ers game, listen more.  Before this game, he noted how special Denver's offensive unit was.  All media week long, he was looking interviewers in the eye with real attention and delivering smart, crisp answers.  At the end of the Super Bowl, he highlighted the huge performances of Malcolm Smith, Earl Thomas, Kam Chancellor and the whole team.

Right after Sherman's comments on the podium with the Lombardi trophy, one of the Fox announcers (I forget who it was) said: "That's the real Richard Sherman."

Sometime I'll get into the three very different leaders on the team:

Richard Sherman: loud, in your grill, precise and cutting with his words.

Russell Wilson: friendly, respectful, coach's dream, tremendous discipline and work ethic.

Marshawn Lynch: would rather do it than talk about it, avoids the media.  "I'm just about that action, boss."

This has little to do with the story: