Sunday, July 12, 2015

Blah Blah Blah: Niko's Preschool Talent Show

At the end of my son's preschool year, he had a talent show. "What do you want to do?" we asked him.

He's a smart kid and good at many things, but not singing, dancing or typical talent show stuff. I suggested doing a song from one of the Czech fairy tales his mom loves. Who else is going to sing "Svítí Slunce and Hlavou" at the show?

We thought it was a great idea, but he was undecided. Then one night a week later when I was at work, he told his mom: "I want to do the Blah Blah Blah song."

"Blah Blah Blah" is a song by KRS-One and Just-Ice that I've played in the car for him and his little brother. It's fun and clean. I need those two suburban white kids to know what hip-hop is. I just never expected Niko to pick it for the talent show.

Yet I was stoked that he did. The lyrics are about the excessive amount of much blah-blah in the world. Some of it is more related to the music industry, so I decided to rewrite it to be more preschool relevant.

I gave him some pointers on how to memorize the piece. Performing spoken word has made me better at it than I ever expected. I read it aloud repeatedly and bit-by-bit stop looking at the page until I don't need to. You need to start early, keep the text in your pocket and live with the words until they stick.

I never expected him to step up without text in hand, but with a week to go he had it nailed. That's my boy.

I hoped to find an instrumental version of the song, but never did. The beat is a bit too quick anyway. He did it a cappella instead. We never planned any choreography. I'm not sure what he's doing with his knees.

I've been calling him NIK-Zero.

The audio is crappy. Here are the lyrics to help you understand. Many of the words are mine, but some are bitten directly from KRS-One's first verse.

Hey, hey, hey
Yo, what these cats saying, man?
Man, to me...

All I hear is blah-bitty-blah-blah
People always talking that blah-bitty-blah-blah
The news is blah-blah-blah
Who's the new blah-blah?
She's the new blah-blah
Hanging out with blah-blah
Now blah-blah
Read about the latest blah-blah
Some blah-blah
Just bought another blah-blah
Blah-blah-blah on 500 channels
Nothing to watch but blah-blah and wild animals
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah is in the video
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah is on the radio
Blah-blah all day
And blah-blah all night
Nothing but blah-blah
Means something's not right

I keep away from the blah-blah-blah
On the TV, the tablet and computah
So give me a ball, a paint brush, a pen
I'll go down the slide and I'll go down again
Give me a book and a good place to read
Fresh air and sunshine are all that I need
I'd rather sing a song or stare at the stars
Than soften my head with blah-blah-blah-blah...

N-I-K-O doesn't need blah-blah
I'd rather cheer rah-rah-rah
Or sing tra-la-la
Or dance cha-cha-cha
While my sister says gah-gah-gah
And my brother laughs hah-hah-hah
Then spend the whole summer doing blah-blah-blah
Go to school in the fall saying dah-dah-dah
Brains are muscles
They need exercise
Feed brains good things
And they'll become wise
So when school is done at LLCA
Keep using your brain or it'll go away
Or fill your head with pudding and tar

By surrounding yourself with blah-blah-blah-blah...

For the next two months you'll see me promoting our local National Drive Electric Week event with gusto. September 19 in Liberty Lake, Washington. I may be building a page dedicated to electric cars and solar power. Still in love with my Leaf.