Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Creeper Report: Fantasy Football Week 10


A tough week in Creeperville. 0-3 for my Russell Wilson led teams. My Peyton Manning and Demaryius Thomas based team won, holding my lead atop Bethanie's league.

The moral: it's better to have your quarterback gunslinging from behind than coasting ahead of a team he's sure he'll beat.

But creep on creepin' on. I still have the #4 spot in my free Euro league. In Nate's league, I'm holding tight to my #3 position. I'm still in #4 in Andy's league by a mere half game. No time to freak out. Still in the playoffs across the board. Keep streaming the best defense and snagging free agent W/R/Ts. Keep faith in my quarterback.

In woulda-coulda-shoulda news, I would have won in the Euro league had I hung onto Miami's D. But who thought they'd shut out the Chargers? Let me go back and edit last week's Report to show that I knew it all along.

I got blown out in my other 2 leagues. Nothing I could have done would have helped. In Nate's, every player on my bench had a bye.

With no regrets, let's get into 10 things about fantasy football and things we can smoke while watching.

#1 Does Your Team Need More Boobie?

When Anthony Dixon came from the San Francisco 49ers to the Buffalo Bills, his team-mates started calling him "Boobie" after Boobie Miles from Friday Night Lights. The name grew in popularity with fans until it was officially switched from Anthony on the team roster.


Whatever you call Mr. Dixon, you can now call him the starting running back for the surprising 5-3 Bills. Coming off a bye, they face a Kansas City Chiefs team that leads the league against the pass but is 19th against the run with 116.1 yards allowed per game. They give up 4.7 yards per carry.

With CJ Spiller on injured reserve and Fred Jackson questionable to play, that gives Boobie and Bryce Brown the rock. Dixon's only gained 639 yards in 4.5 seasons so far, but a starting back is a starting back.

#2 Denard "Auto-Flex" Robinson

Coming out of Michigan as a quarterback, the NFL didn't know what to do with Robinson. The Jacksonville Jaguars played around with him as a kick returner, wide receiver and running back. Last year he threw one pass, caught none and carried the ball 20 times for 66 yards.

Suddenly over the last 3 games he has 57 carries for 329 yards and 2 scores. Better yet, he's still listed as a hybrid WR/RB. Auto-Flex. Last week I used him as a WR. This week I'll start him at RB. Useful.

He's a big play waiting to happen and one of the only good offensive things happening for the Jags.

#3 Giant's Offense

Should be written as "0ffense" except I'm not sure you can tell I used a zero instead of an O.


Out west, I don't get much chance to see the Giants play. Monday Night, it was obvious their passing game is a wreck. But go go gadget garbage time. Eli Manning still ended up with 359 and 2 scores with amazingly no interceptions. Odell Beckham Jr. (ODB's son to me) grabbed 8 for 156. All of that was much too late in a blowout that ended 40-24 somehow.

Eli's passes and receivers were never in the same place. Rueben Randle still hasn't figured him out. The defense that was lit up by the Steelers was confusing to the Giants.

Coming to Seattle next week, I don't feel good about anything NYG. I may still have to start Old Dirty's kid, but I hope not to. Boom or bust indeed.

#4 Speaking of Seattle's Defense

Always watch the transactions of your league-mates. You might see that someone dropped Seattle for Darren Sproles so they could start Philadelphia against Houston. Snag.

The Seahawks are showing why you shouldn't go nuts and draft a defense early. But as a free agent grab to play the Raiders at home? Thanks. Best matchup of the year for them. Sure, they gave up too many points to Al Davis' zombies, but they were handed 3 turnovers and a touchdown.

And I'll take them at home against the Giants, too.

Other defenses this week? I like Dallas against Jacksonville and Pittsburgh against the Jets. Do you think Mark Sanchez isn't Mark Sanchez? If you think he still is, take Carolina against Philadelphia.

#5 Return of the Butt Fumble

I was working at a huge sports bar at the time of the infamous Sanchez moment. I'd heard a lot of noises during football games at that place, but I'd never heard the whole joint fall out laughing until then.


But that was then. Sanchez did just win the game against Houston after Nick Foles busted a collar bone. He threw for 202 yards and 2 touchdowns plus 2 interceptions. He's bound to turn it over a couple more times at least versus Carolina.

You probably have to start Jeremy Maclin in case he catches another bomb or two. Don't feel good about it. LeSean McCoy is still Shady, but I don't like much else Eagle-flavored this week.

#6 All Brain and No Heart

I keep reminding myself to play fantasy football with my head only and keep the heart separate. I'm wondering now if I always do that.

Having Russell Wilson in three leagues is a smart move regardless of the fact I love that team. Being pessimistic about Percy Harvin as a Jet rather than a Seahawk I think is logical.

Saying his first game in New York would be the best game of the rest of his career? I was trying to get a reaction. Sometimes you need to be bold to be heard, like in the 90s when I used to say the internet was a myth and computers didn't work.

Look at me now.

Maybe my Harvin call is correct if I really meant this week. I figured the Jets would feed him the ball to prove they made a good trade. With 11 catches for 129 in a blowout loss, they did it this week. I benched him for Rueben Randle and I was wrong. Didn't cost me the game, but maybe I was getting emotional.

Putting hindsight behind me where it belongs, let's look at this week. At home against a red-hot Pittsburgh offense, the Jets might do it again. Harvin may barely average 10 yards a catch and be held scoreless one more time, but he'll be a good play especially in PPR.

He gets the start over Rueben this week.

#7 Ben Roethlisberger's 12 Pack

Will this keep up? How often can a guy throw 6 touchdowns? The Jets are second-to-last in the league surrendering 28 points a game. It just might keep up.

Antonio Brown is one reason I'm leading Bethanie's league. Martavis Brown and Markus Wheaton are both worth starting if you need them. This could be another mauling. Big Ben could leave New Jersey with Rex Ryan's job.

#8 I Will Miss You, Serie N


I believe the La Gloria Cubana Serie N was the first cigar I ever reviewed on the Creeper Report for The Penalty Flag. They've taken the page down, so I'll never know.

I just smoked the last one in my humidor. A little melancholy.

Yet I'm reminded why the 5.5" 54 gauge JSB is my favorite cigar of all time. Once again, a bit of pepper smoothing into an earthy leatheriness like a favorite bomber jacket. No bitterness. Meaty. This is the reason I fell for oscuros.

And this is why you need a good humidor and must let your favorites rest. It took me well over a year to go through 10 of these. I only grabbed them for special occasions. But tonight? Maybe just because.

After more than a year, it was softer, more complex and more intense than ever. Grabbed me by the boo-boo, it did.

One more lesson: keep an eye on your favorite smokes on multiple sites. Everything goes on sale from time to time. I got 10 of these way back when for $39.99 plus a $10 gift card.

The Serie R Black and the Wavell Maduros are also great. LGC makes fine big rich cigars at good prices.

Watch for a Serie N sale for me, will you?

#9 Continuing the Freelance Dance

Heading into my third month as a part-time freelancer, I'm hunting for bigger fish. Snagging $20 or $30 bits and pieces is fine, but I need a real jobby-job.

Sure, I can write about just about anything, but I should stick to what I know. And that's not even football.

I've racked up some experience as an NFL writer, but I've been in the restaurant business much longer. I know more about the game than most managers you'll meet (except for mine, who happen to be geniuses) so if I'm going to be an expert at anything, it's that.

How to organize your staff, what to cook, what to pour, what not to do, how to prepare yourself and how not to get fired. Learned it all, hard way and otherwise.

I need to find someone who values that and will pay me to teach it. I don't want to run all over a restaurant until my plantar fasciae are filled with micro-tears again.

Furthermore, when my son starts going to school 5 days a week, I don't want to head to work as soon as he gets home.

I want to move away from writing jobs that take only an hour or two. I want something more permanent.

#10 Brady Versus Manning Forever

 Take my record. Chase
Brett Favre. My team doesn't care.
We just lit yours up.

Good luck and happy creepings.