"What can I get for five dollars?"
"Everything you want."
"Everything. As long as it takes less than a quarter hour."
But it's only because I like it. I enjoy stretching myself to engulf new topics. I like to spread wide and expose my verbal flexibility. I'm not happy until I've serviced as many clients as possible.
My new john is Fiverr.com, who asked me what I was willing to do for five bucks.
Everything you want, I replied.
Please be more specific, it suggested.
How about a haiku?
Too boring and formal.
How about a zombie haiku, John?
I only have eyes
For you. The hearts were too ripe.
They were out of brains.
Okay, but I get to keep one dollar.
It seems I've just been pimped. At least he was honest about it.
Before I go take a shower and burn my keyboard, please investigate my offer of a haiku from Fiverr.
Share it. Think of who needs one. Don't get all pastoral about it. I will do one about blossoms in spring, but I'd prefer one zinging your ex-boss. Or taunting your ex-lover. Or pranking your room-mate.
You spend $5 on less. Buy something that will last. I promise to spend the proceeds on my 86 Logo tattoo. You could be permanently imbedded in my skin.