Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Seattle Seahawks and Old Women: Bronco Bustin'

A guest post by Kathe Frahm


As the old women file into the Rec room at the Home, one said she heard that the Broncos come to play with a briefcase and the Seahawks come to play with brass knucks. She should get an extra slice of pizza for remembering that. Free pizza brings in more old people than usual. There is more junk food and a bowl of cut-up fresh fruit. No Anchor Steam. No damn Coors.

The annoying old men are not here. Old women are not subtle about turning a cold shoulder or laser stare when patronized.

Renee Fleming's National Anthem rendition reduced the old women to teary gratitude for the joy of hearing her.

The old women collapsed hysterically when the Denver team was led out of the tunnel by a babe on a white horse. Really?


First out of the tunnel for the Seahawks was Taima, who showed a lot more class. Taima, whose name means thunder, is called the hardest working bird in showbiz. First out of the tunnel and last off the field. A worthy symbol.

The first 12 seconds of the game set the pattern for the Broncos. Not good. Had to be Peyton Manning's worst nightmare. The old women said that he looked like a first grade teacher at recess with the bratty little boys running all over him.

Watching the Broncos get creamed brought out the nastiness of these old women. Even they could see by protecting Manning so much, the Broncos missed the 'Hawks murderous defense aimed at their feeble receivers. Oh, this rout was fun to watch. And as legendary as 'noodle arm' Manning is, the old women were so happy to have their boys hand him his old butt.

Many of the old women had what was referred to as 'kennel cough' so the yelling left several of them voiceless. There might have been a flask or two in the rec room for medicinal purposes.

The Broncos just never got the keep “Russell Wilson in the pocket” thing. So much fun to watch him out-run and out-throw Manning. The only thing the Broncos got right was keeping Marshawn Lynch tied up. But having Malcolm Smith and Percy Harvin and the rest of the team play so aggressively was just the icing on the old women's bargain Seahawk cake.

The game just got better and better. It wasn't 'til the last 10 minutes though, that some old women accepted that their boys couldn't be beat. THAT was fun. Some wanted the 'Hawks to run up the score even more for the nay-sayers.



The old women are going to miss these Sunday afternoons. Getting out of their tiny apartments is good. Free food and yelling with each other for their boys is good. Winning is good. Not always being alone is good.

See the rest of Kathe's "Seahawks and Old Women" series at The Penalty Flag.